My workouts this week felt HARD. Most were great, hard – but great. I felt pumped and I’m growing. I feel thicker and stronger. Pretty excited about the progress in my arms. But man, the shoulder workout on Thursday was brutal. I’m really disappointed. So disappointed in that workout yesterday, that this morning, I sat in the car in the parking lot at the gym, cried, and watched a motivational video on YouTube about working through failures to get success. I dragged myself into the gym and I did a respectable quad workout – nothing super ambitious. My goal was to just get some work done and not risk hurting myself because I was tired and sore.
Earlier in the week, I realized that the pain in my right shoulder was subsiding. At that point, I didn’t quit the rehab work altogether, but I did cut back from doing it twice a day to once. The tendons in my right elbow are hurting from the rehab exercises so I wanted to give them a break. But when I got to the gym on Thursday afternoon for the shoulder workout, I knew it was going to be ugly. The shoulder pain was flared a little, but the elbow pain complicated everything.
I started dead lifts this week and that’s very exciting. It’s a big exercise and works a lot of body parts. All those parts were sore afterwards. So by Thursday, everything hurt. I had no pain stamina for the shoulder workout. I ended up in the locker room crying a couple of times. Not from the pain, but from the frustration.
My mood at the gym has been pretty dark for the last 24 hours. Chose not to talk to anyone until I trained with Adam this afternoon. Thing is, this is the second or third horrible shoulder workout in as many weeks. I’m concerned. Shoulders can’t be underdeveloped if I expect to be competitive – and I do expect to be competitive. This isn’t just a ‘bucket-list’ thing anymore.
Adam and I are going to redesign the shoulder workout tomorrow. Try lots of exercises and variations on exercises to find some that I can use.
I’m writing about this stuff for myself mostly, but I also want people to know that it’s not easy for me. I think people forget because I look different now. I’m told all the reasons why they can’t workout or change their diets even though they want to feel different and look different. I’ve done a ton of work in the last two years to get to this point. Heck, I do a ton of work everyday. And yes, I was sitting in the car in the parking lot crying this morning because I was discouraged. But I don’t quit. I fail, but I won’t give up. If Plan A doesn’t work, there will be a Plan B, a Plan C…however many revisions are necessary to make it work. I’m not the one who will accept your excuses for why you can’t do it. Are you breathing?? You have choices as long as you are breathing.