Crack in the Armor. I’ll weld it up in a second…

Some rest days suck.  Lately, they haven’t been a problem, but I’ve had some stress in the last few days, so the doubts piled up on me today.  It’s temporary, but I’d like to write about it and let it go.  Nothing is going to derail me at this point, but I’m human, not super-human.

Need to say up front that I’m very sleepy right now.   There was a huge wind storm here last night.  Not an unusual thing in this area because our house is in the foothills of a mountain.  I’m used to the wind.  It wasn’t keeping me up – I was sound asleep – until 12:34 am.  The house shook hard and I startled awake thinking it was an earthquake.  It was just a big gust of wind coming off the mountain.  Alarm went off 3.5 hours later and I headed to the gym – in a snow storm.   Icy roads and almost zero visibility.  So I’m sleepy.  That’s why I’m feeling a little low.  It was also a rest day from lifting.  Just cardio and abs today.  That’s also why I’m feeling a little blue.

I’ve been reading about contest prep.  I’ve been following some bodybuilders on Facebook and reading their blogs.  I’m nervous about a couple of things.

1) Am I making a mistake doing this without a coach?  Seems like every article I read lately starts with “hire a coach”.  Even if I could afford it, which I can’t, I’ve been burned.  I honestly don’t feel like I can trust anyone who wants to be paid.  Too many out there scrambling to make a living and they will tell you anything.  And I’ve heard trainers talk about their clients.  My old trainer told me stories.  I’m probably one of the stories he tells now.  Some don’t do the research they should do.  They think what worked for them, or what worked for another client will work for the next client, too.  But I’m not a typical client.  I’m not a typical bodybuilder.  The twenty- and thirty-somethings don’t get it.  I KNOW my body and my body chemistry has changed in the last ten years.  Things that were once predictable aren’t anymore.  I don’t want to waste any more money getting bad advice.

2)  If I’m going to do this on my own, I need to do the research.  But every time I research, I get overwhelmed and stressed out.  It seems too complicated.  And stress is my main enemy.  I know I need to follow my instincts about what’s working and what isn’t.  I need to pay attention to how my body is feeling and if I’m recovering well or getting weaker during the process.  But I’m not confident at all.  Six months out and I’m venturing into unknown territory.

I’m just tired.  I think I’ll go to bed very early and start again tomorrow.  Tomorrow is leg day.  Leg days are good days.  Actually, any day I lift is a good day.  It’s these darn rest days that get to me.


Filed under Bodybuilding Journal, Life, Opinions, Venting, Ranting

3 responses to “Crack in the Armor. I’ll weld it up in a second…

  1. Yeah, I’m on rest day today. I’ve only just started, but I’ve been told (by my trainer, sorry!) that I’m only allowed to do weights three days for my first couple of weeks out, then rest the other two days. So here I am, twiddling my thumbs, and wishing I were at the gym pumping up.

    Baaaah – so fricking BORED!

    Next week we look over my program, and I’ll at least be pleased to tell him I bumped everything up – even those rotten biceps curls. Grrrr.

    I know snow can be rotten – we get cold weather here too. But right now the leaves are only just beginning to turn, and the chill in the air has only just begun. Enjoy the snow while it lasts.


    • Hahahaha! You’re hooked!!!! The lifting endorphins are amazing. I’m glad you are working with a trainer. I did for a year and I don’t regret it at all. It was what I needed to get started.


      • Yeah, I’m sooooooo hooked! And I’m so glad to have found a few other women like me who blog about it – I thought I was a weirdo singleton all on my lonesome! LOL. Yep, those endorphins are just the best – I’d say better than s–, but then my husband would kill me for sure! Hehe.


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