I’m having one of those days…

There are days when I feel my age.  Today is one of them.  It’s a little shocking to catch a sideways glance of my mother’s face in the mirror.  Makes sense, though.  I’m only six years younger than her now.  (She died when she was 56.)  I have those little fine lines around the lips and eyes that come with age.  The weight lost over the last three years has stretched the skin on my face and throat, so there is sagging.

And when I see my mom in the mirror, I think “What the hell am I doing?”  Why can’t I just be satisfied with being healthy and fit?  Why do I need to do bodybuilding?  Why be so strict with food?  Why be obsessed with this thing?

I’ll tell you why – because today is a rest day and because it’s a rest day, I didn’t lift, and because I didn’t lift, I feel and look like a woman who is older than 50.  On the days I lift, I don’t feel like that.  On the days I lift, it doesn’t seem weird to me at all that a whole lot of my friends are 20-25 years younger than I am.  On the days that I lift I feel like anything is possible.  On the days I lift, I get less sleep, but have more energy.  On the days that I lift, I feel amazing.  On the days that I lift, I feel like the ME I wasn’t when I was younger.

Young me vs. ‘old’ me…which is which?  Today is one of those days when the inside doesn’t match the outside.

Just did a little Googling and found this article about a 52 year old woman who started power lifting.  This makes me smile. There are so many of us out there.  I bet we all have days like this, too.


I don’t need a pep talk.  I’m writing this just to document that I’m having one of those days today.  One of those days when I feel silly and old.  All I need to do is to get busy.  I’ll do my food prep.  I’ll do laundry.  I’ll get busy and get my focus back.  Early to bed, early to rise to go lift again.

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2 responses to “I’m having one of those days…

  1. I know what you mean. When I’m at the gym I’m not 41, I’m 20. I’m back to being ME again, not my children’s mum and my husband’s wife, but ME – the person I always was on the inside, and that people sometimes forget about, and that I forgot about too, for way too long.

    It’s nice to be back, and when I’m at the gym, I am back.

    What you’re doing is incredible. What I’m doing is awesome. I think more women need to put down their knitting and crochet and remember that they are powerful.


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