A Couple of Things to Address…

First things first…

I’ve been getting a lot of positive feedback online and in real life about this blog.  It’s hard to express how grateful I am that you are simply reading this.  This blog started as a device for public accountability.  There are days when I’m not feeling motivated.  I follow my routines and remind myself that I’ve told the world that I’m going to do this thing.    So that means I can’t fail.

Second thing…

Others who traveled this path before me warned me to be ready for the weirdness I would get from people.  After the first year when I lost most of my extra weight, most people were genuine with their support.  A few weren’t so genuine with their compliments.  No worries.  They were uncomfortable.  Most have gotten over it.  Some haven’t.  It seems there are a few people who have forgotten that I used to be fat, sick, sad, and fearful.  Yes – I said fat.  I was fat.  Not just overweight or obese, or any other politically correct term – I was fat.  Fatter than some, not as fat as others.  But fat for me.  I used to believe that my excuses were my reality.  So, I’d like to remind those folks – you may believe what you are saying, but I don’t.   Nope.  I think you are projecting and I’m cool with it.  I’ve been there.  But don’t expect me to enable you.  You’ve surrounded yourself with others who will do that.  I’m not the one who is going to believe the bull you are slinging.  You can keep throwing it at me if you want, but be prepared to have it thrown back – every single time.  I don’t believe the bullshit story you are telling me and yourself any more than I believe the bullshit stories I told (and still tell) myself when I’m afraid.

Here is what I DO believe…

  • I believe you are strong, physically and emotionally.
  • I believe you can work with weights that are heavier than a bag of potatoes, heavier than your gym bag loaded down with everything you need to get ready, or heavier than the child you carried in and dropped off at the gym’s daycare.
  • I  believe you are smart and will find the information and the experts you need when you are ready.
  •  I believe you can give yourself permission to get healthy, even if your family isn’t ready to be supportive.  (They will in time. They will.  They love you.  Wouldn’t you want it for them?)

I have set this picture as the wallpaper on my phone so I will have to read it several times a day. 

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Filed under Opinions, Venting, Ranting

6 responses to “A Couple of Things to Address…

  1. Well – I’m one little gal over here in NZ who thinks you’re awesome, and will be behind you 100%. And yes – the world needs more strong, powerful, incredible women like you to be not just excellent for themselves, but also an inspiration for our daughters and granddaughters. *hugs*

    • Thank you little gal in NZ!! Back at you. Seriously – the weights you are moving are very impressive. You’ve left me behind a while ago. Must be that rowing background. Have you thought about powerlifting?

      • Hehe – the world needs more strong women. You’re awesome.

        I hadn’t really thought about it, and don’t know anything about powerlifting. I’ve always been the strongest female I’ve ever known, and haven’t ever met anyone stronger, but never really did anything about it, and just got into rowing early on and loved that. But never did any lifting at all. Maybe I should find out more about it – I’m putting on muscle scarily fast, and everything is bumping up real quick.

        But I always thought powerlifters were generally short, broad builds, and I’m tall and long-limbed (although very broad-shouldered). Would that make a difference once I got into serious competition with women who really know what they’re doing (as opposed to just strong school mates and team mates)?

        • I don’t know a ton about it, but I think percentage of body weight lifted is what matters. That’s probably why shorter women are doing it. But I’m just guessing. Hate be a party pooper, but expect the strength gains to slow down in a little bit. The first few months are the fastest gains. After a while, you will need to eat more calories than you burn to build muscle, but that makes fat loss a little tough. That’s when watching the % of lean mass gets important. Don’t want to lose muscle with the fat. (Yeah, I’m a trainer now. But that was all free advice you got right there. 😉 )

          • Heck yeah – you are too! One of the things I really hope you deal with when working with women is the whole “lifting weights is not feminine” issue that so many women have problems with (including me).

            For years I avoided the weights section because, basically, that was where the “butch dykes” hung out, and the social rejects, and if you went over there, you were considered a weird woman. Being young and totally self-conscious and insecure, I wanted to fit in, so I just did what everyone else did. Even being good at sport was almost a bit frowned upon in Australia (where I grew up), unless it was netball or swimming, and netball at the top level only really became acceptable once they put the teams in those stupid little skirt suits so they were acceptable eye candy for the men. Rowing (what I did) was definitely whacked out – my parents didn’t approve, and in all the years I rowed and won, my parents never saw me do it, or bothered to come to a regatta. I’m not the only woman who dealt with this stuff, and a lot of it is still going on.

            My mother found out I’m “going to the gym again” a couple of weeks ago, and the disapproval in her voice (over the phone) was pretty obvious. But now I’m an adult and can recognise it as social conditioning and fear in them, and I just figure they’re a product of a different mind set and generation. I’m mature and strong enough to cope with it, but could a teenager or a twenty-something in a similar position? I don’t know. That’s where they need coaches who understand this SHIT, and can help them work through it, recognising how damaging it can be, and helping them to be strong mentally.

            Sorry about the rant. I don’t even know where it came from. But yeah, you’ll be awesome. And I think the first move you need to teach the women you train is how to flip the bird at society! 😀

            • I’m actually surprised to hear that about growing up in Australia. Thought things were easier there for athletic women. I don’t expect to have many female clients who won’t lift because I can’t imagine why they will want to work with me. I’m starting out by working with my friends from work. Actually, I’m starting with me. That was the reason I did it in the first place. Tired of paying people who weren’t committed to my goal just because they had knowledge I didn’t have. I have to start with me because I’ve got muscle imbalances that are hindering my progress.

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