Black-Bikini Barbie

My current Facebook profile pic

When I post here or on Facebook, I post publicly. I’ve done this whole transformation publicly. Two reasons – accountability and encouragement. I need both of those. But I also hope that a person who needs to see it’s possible to really change your life, will start.  Maybe another person who thinks what they have done hasn’t worked and it’s hopeless, will not quit.

I believe this with all my heart…

I knew when I posted my competition pics, there would be some unwanted attention.  I’m clicking “ignore” on all of them.

I am a happily married, middle-aged, high school math teacher. I lift because it makes me healthy and happy. When I competed, it also made me happy, not because it was fun (some parts were), but because it was a dream come true.  Maybe not your dream – it was my dream.  But how often does that happen to a person?  Not very many people believe they can do BIG SCARY things.  I stood up there in that posing suit to prove…


I’m able to handle stress easily and it doesn’t make me sick anymore.  I’m busier, but I’m a better “Me” and nicer to be around.  My pics are not a peep-show. I do not appreciate the pokes and friend requests. Even if I were single, I wouldn’t welcome this attention. It’s shallow and meaningless.

I post publicly because when I started, I only had a TV show, “The Biggest Loser” as a visual motivator.  I didn’t know anyone who did what I needed to do.  Doctors and trainers didn’t think  it was possible.  So I share everything for that woman out there like me, who is struggling like I struggled, when results seems to have stalled.

So let’s get real.  Black-Bikini Barbie is NOT a real person. That was an optical illusion for the stage. I’ve gained 10 pounds since those photos because I drank some water and ate some food. The fake tan that made my hair appear blonder and my teeth appear whiter, went down the drain. The eyelashes were fake. I never wear makeup.


Please don’t misunderstand this post – I’m not discounting anything.  I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished.  But truth be told, I’m insulted and repulsed by Black Bikini Barbie’s new “fan club”. However, I’m not going to take the pictures down or change my profile picture on Facebook until I’m damn good and ready to.  I worked hard for that six pack.


Filed under Bodybuilding Journal, Opinions, Venting, Ranting

6 responses to “Black-Bikini Barbie

  1. Love love love this post. So very much.
    You have been so real and honest through this whole journey and that’s why I’ve enjoyed reading about it so much.
    I know you’re going to rock all your future adventures be it in body building, strength training, or whatever you put your mind to. I’m glad you decided to keep writing because you are a character that is fun to have in my life!


  2. Que

    You’re definitely an encouragement to me, which is one reason why I have not given up my goal. My goal has in my opinion “stalled” but I know reading your post from beginning to end what isn’t can still be, it just takes some work an even more determination. I appreciate you for sharing your journey and yes you have encouraged more than you may ever know. We TY!!


  3. I love this post, too.. and I told you I talk about you sometimes because honestly, how many average teachers can say that they accomplished something amazingly impressive as what you have!


  4. One Fit Mama

    Keep smiling! Very inspirational


  5. wow i am in awe of you!!!!! Cant wait to get to know you more, from one woman on a mission to another 🙂


    • Hi! Very nice to meet you! I’ve met some amazing people through blogging. Yes, I’m on a mission. I need to be always on a mission, I think. I hate running on “auto-pilot”. Always need a goal.


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