The stereotype that we are self-obsessed and shallow – that’s what I’m talking about tonight. I think about this a lot. (And then I wonder if thinking about whether I’m narcissistic makes me a narcissist. That’ll make you dizzy, won’t it? ) I personally stay mindful that what I’m doing with my life is really only important to me. We are all heroes of our own stories, right? That means you, as you read this, are the hero of your story. But I hope most of us are empathetic enough to not dwell on our own hero status.
My motivation for writing this post is a picture that popped up on Facebook today. I believe this picture is evidence of an ego out of control or a deep insecurity. A physique competitor took a picture of herself from a photo shoot, added a few candles to the picture, and then posted it on Facebook with a quote and a dedication to the children who died at Sandy Hook Elementary last week. At the very least, it’s ridiculous. What does a woman showing off her body in a black bikini have to do with elementary school children? At worst, she is using that tragedy to self-promote.
I made a comment – and I worded it carefully to not express my disgust – but that comment was deleted. I wouldn’t have known that it was deleted but for the fact that she posted the same picture this evening in a group I belong to so I saw it again by accident. The comments on the picture were all “sexy” or “I wish I looked like that”, and the woman herself commented every so often with a “thank you sweetie” or something else as equally trivial and shallow. No comments about the kids. The whole thing was surreal in it’s stupidity and disrespect.
And I was embarrassed. I started to wonder just how guilty I am of stupid shallowness or the appearance of it. For the first time ever, I was ashamed to be a bodybuilder. I can talk about my noble reasons for doing this thing, but at the end of the day, am I just as shallow as the woman in that picture seems to be? If I stay in this game too long, will I become so insecure that I will need to have 5000 close and personal Facebook friends to kiss my glutes? Hope not.
The other day, I realized that I have no interest in posting any progress pictures from now on. Today’s events just reinforced that decision. I don’t seem to have a problem posting competition pictures because they feel like documentation for an event. But if I take progress pictures, you may not see them. They have a purpose and that purpose is most definitely not to show off.
And no – I’m not going to show you the picture that prompted this post. I do not want to provide any more exposure to it. I find it very offensive.
Paradox…isn’t writing a blog a bit narcissistic?